Truffle Hunting in the Italian Hillside (and other thoughtless comments at work from rich people).
One.
Chasing people for paperwork is a thankless task. And we required paperwork. To close deals you need paperwork. We do not cut corners. We are employed to take care of what is likely our clients’ most significant financial asset.
Given the value of the asset it is inevitably frustrating when clients decline to respond in a timely fashion in order for us to successfully fulfil our contractual obligations with them.
The deal was put together. It was a good deal; it was what they wanted. But no paperwork = no deal.
Colleague H chases. And chases. Phone. Email. No response. Days past. Deal is looking shaky. Client responds.
Client D: “I do apologise for not responding sooner. I have been truffle hunting in the Italian hillside - with a Michelin Star Chef”
It was raining in London. Colleague H earned 20,000 pounds per year and lived in Beckenham with her mother.
Arsehole.
Two
Another long day. Back-to-back appointments. Settlements. Exchanges. Move-ins. It’s crunch time.
Buyer B is concerned about the placement of the power points in his 3rd bedroom. He is concerned the marble isn’t book matched on his kitchen counter tops. There’s a slight scratch to the highly polished joinery in his bar. He sends a number of WhatsApp video messages talking me through, at length, the issues he has noticed in his 4-bedroom $22,000,000 apartment with direct views of the Sydney Harbour Bridge and Opera House for which he is receiving deliveries of his $1,000,000 of bespoke, pre-ordered furniture.
These issues are so significant it is surprising they have slipped through our 3 round pre-settlement defecting process.
To be clear, I did not build the apartment. I am not an electrician. I am not a stone mason. I am not a French polisher. I just sell them.
Buyer B is in the lift looking flustered. I am of course like a swan, calm on the surface.
Me: “Hello Buyer B”
Buyer B: “I just don’t know how people even find time to have a job, decorating this apartment as well as my other house is so time consuming and stressful!”
Me: “Yes, it must be very difficult for you.”
Arsehole.
