These donuts are now redundant.
How does someone get to 51 and not see the issue:
(via Text)
Mr S: “Hi, when you have a moment, can you drop off my coffee plunger please?”
Me: “Happily - I am away but I will absolutely drop your coffee plunger off when I return.
I would however like to just point a couple of things out to you in the interests of ‘communication’ and ‘explanation’ that you have previously requested from me, to help you better understand why you are where you are, and perhaps how you can do better next time.
During our time together you received a beautiful, thoughtful birthday gift from me, I cleaned your house whilst you were away, booked and paid for flights at your request for a Christmas trip to the UK and a 4-night weekend away where you had your flights, car hire, hotel, wine tour etc paid for you by me (never said to be a gift) all given with good intentions in the spirit of the moment. You have since sent me (3 days after I expressed my disappointment and frustration) $1000; $500 for the cancellation of your tickets to the UK that I kindly booked for you and therefore $500 towards the weekend away you enjoyed; for clarity $500 covers exactly 2/3 of the cost of the car hire.
I would not have communicated this disappointment with your behaviour, which represents a lack of respect, lack of awareness, your taking advantage of me, entitlement and straight-out tightness, had you not just asked me to return your $20 coffee plunger.
With some introspection, I hope you can see how this request could be received as utterly rude and tone deaf in light of the above, and it may give you clarity as to how e a woman could be driven to say to you, as one has in the past, ‘who the fuck do you think you are?’”
It blows the mind!
Also mind blowing was the weekend away that led to this point, the weekend that led to instant dismissal.
Mr S:
“How long will it take to get there?”
“Will we eat before we go?”
“Will I need a jacket?”
“But that’s only 4 hours between lunch and dinner, what if I’m not hungry again by dinner?”
“I’ll need to freshen up first”
“I can’t walk with coffee; I’ll need the bathroom”
And the line to end all lines:
Mr S: “these donuts are now redundant”
Because you couldn’t possibly consume a luxury sour-dough donut one hour prior to lunch, obviously.
To everyone but himself, his behaviour was appalling. From the 20-minute rant to the group about how “heartbreaking and difficult it truly was to be an estate agent” to the review he gave of the wine the lovely Thai lady, who had worked so hard to build her winery, a blatant and loud “dreadful!”.
He loudly paced on his phone during a group day-trip, he might as well have had a t-shirt with ‘I am a wanker’ printed on. He sat on a chair staring at nothing at a party with my family, the most hospitable and friendly people, he was long faced, awkward, sulking; the poster child of the man-baby.
The delusion he felt he could enact; a gentleman, a thoughtful and considerate man – all crumbled in the face of lovely, interesting people. The threat of the whole thing, completely out of his depth, the realisation induced a sulk of epic proportions.
He lost his façade and his true man-baby was revealed to all who crossed his path that weekend.
When the airline called at 4am on the morning of departure home from the dreaded weekend away, to say the 6am flight had been cancelled I begged not to have to wait for the late afternoon flight. How on earth he didn’t cotton on to the desperation in my voice, pleading down the phone to the airline representative:
Me: “no, I really can’t wait until the early afternoon, I MUST have an earlier flight, I NEED to get home.
Me: “absolutely I will fly Jetstar!” (I hate Jetstar and refuse to fly with them under all normal circumstances but these were desperate times).
How the airline representative could hear that I was a desperate woman from her call centre in the Philippines but he couldn’t, sitting right next to me.
And to think he thought I might put up with this behaviour or that I would be of a mind to hear him explain to me how relationships require communication and that I really needed to help him understand what went wrong… I’ve had two marriages, don’t even…
I was so very patient until the coffee plunger…
And as an aside; he always made coffee on the stove top, he didn’t even use the bloody plunger!
